LET’S TALK LOVE with ellie


Creds: artbyellz

Hmmm, love, love, love. This love thing. One minute it’s like you’re walking in the clouds and the next it’s like you just had a great fall, feeling weak, sore and really exhausted from it all. Love is all we need. This is true, but how can something so valuable be both good and bad for one’s health. If you ask me, I’ll say the toxic effects far outweigh the therapeutic effects of the love medicine.


Picture source: favim.com

So many people out there, both young and old have at some point in their lives experienced the pain that comes with lovesickness; that state where you find yourself feeling down and blue because you’re yearning for love or missing a loved one who is far away or wanting love again badly after a breakup. In most cases , the sicknesses are temporary and fade on their own. But if it stays for too long like in Zainab’s case from the story “Love Sickness”, you may want to consider seeking professional help and advice.

What are the signs, how do I know I have this sickness, is it even an actual condition?
Yes it is. It’s very real and has become so common and widespread. As a result of this, much work and study has been put into it and it is reported that this form of sickness could pose serious long term health issues if not seen and attended to early enough.

In 1979, Dr. Dorothy Tennor coined the term “Limerence” to describe this psychological condition.

The signs or symptoms that could be used to tell whether or not a person is suffering from love sickness are pretty obvious and do not need clinical tests to be noticed. They include:
1.) You experience sleeplessness, loss of appetite or stomach upset. These may sound like the symptoms of flu, but they’re the first signs that come with lovesickness.
2.) You notice that you feel physically ill, feeling weak and tired most times even when you haven’t engaged in much physical activity.
3.) You experience difficulty in breathing.
4.)You feel nauseous and have a desire to throw up from the stress.
5.) You feel as if something is lost or missing in your life and has left a hole, a truly deep hole inside you.
6.) You feel alone most times and even when around others, you find it hard to communicate and connect, probably not wanting to talk about your feelings.

It is important to know that the symptoms associated with lovesickness can sometimes mirror that of heartbreak at the early stages and depression at the later stages. The way to distinguish both is that, a person with depression tends to express more psychological and emotional responses such as hopelessness, lack of enthusiasm, worthlessness and in worst cases suicide. From this, we could say that along the line, Zainab went from being not just infatuated with love, but also to being highly depressed.

So I now know that what I have been going through is nothing other than love sickness. How then do I heal myself of this miserable wonderful feeling?

Just like most common ailments,the treatment of a person with lovesickness is pretty simple. You just need to exercise patience while you undergo therapy and healing, and with time, you’ll notice that you feel whole again.
That being said, here are some of the remedies and ways to help you get through your current state:

1.)Eat healthy: As tempting as it is to snack on junks and fast foods, your body needs good wholesome meals at this period. This is to help you stay in the right shape and frame of mind. Eat healthy foods and have fun being adventurous by trying out new recipes you’ve either fancied or seen in cookbooks. Not only will this have a beneficial effect on your mental and physical health, but it’ll also serve as a source of distraction from the negative thoughts running through your mind.

2.)Stay hydrated: Take plenty of clean water. Avoid drowning your sorrows and pain in alcohol. This will only prolong and worsen the feeling. Water isn’t just the best healthy option when it comes to drinks, but it’s also highly refreshing and much more satisfying.

3.) Treat your body with love: Love is what you need at this very crucial stage of your life. It’s why you feel this way after all. Instead of waiting on somebody else’s love and affection, why not nourish yourself with that much needed love. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get off the couch. Go do something that makes you happy. Engage in worthwhile activities. Better still, try doing things you haven’t done before. This could be a form of sport or art. Channel your energy into positive things, things that’ll help improve both your mental and physical state.

4.) Get lots of sleep: According to an old report on CNN, studies have shown that sleep clears the brain of toxic substances. So try as much as possible to clear your head of worries and fears by getting lots of good sleep. And how do you do this? By simply having a healthy and regular sleep pattern. Remove all forms of distractions such as the TV, computer, videogames etc from your room. Set designated off times for your phone. Ensure that the room’s temperature is just right for you. Go to bed every night at the same time and wake up every morning at the same time. Good sleep and rest is a very essential part of healthy living.

5.) Declutter: You recently broke up with this person. Chances are you still have some of their stuff in your possession. This could be photos, love cards, messages etc. It is advised that you get rid of them by either returning them or disposing them. You might even have a few novels, movies or songs  that remind you of this person. Clean all of these things out of your life. Having things that constantly remind you of a person that left you or has refused to return your love doesn’t bring the person to you, it only make you feel really sore.

6.) Engage in positive thinking: Everything isn’t sweet and rosy. We know that. But it really helps if you start seeing your life in a different way. There are so many benefits attached to the single life. I mean, you have your space, freedom, no arguments etc. You have all of your time to yourself. And there are so many positive things you could do or achieve in these times. Doing these things will in turn make you feel happier, and when you feel happy with yourself, you begin to have a sense of appreciation for yourself. Noticing all of these and the effects they have on you will make you want to improve more on yourself as an individual. You’ll want to be seen as a person with integrity and a high sense of self-responsibility. A person who can independently and singlehandedly run their life. All of these are good things.

7.)Leave the house: Leave the house and spend time with other people. Meeting people shouldn’t be for the sole purpose of dating. You need company, and the way to get this is by meeting and interacting with people, maybe at workshops, seminars, gyms, libraries, the mall or even your place of worship. Connect with family, especially if you’ve cut them off.

These are some of the ways in
which you can help yourself through lovesickness. But if after trying these, you still feel you can’t cope, please seek medical assistance immediately.


Start by loving yourself first.

Till I come your way again, this is elliedaily wishing you a happy valentine’s day.💕



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