EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

AUTHOR: Daniel Goleman

MONTH READ: July 2016

GENRE: Non-fiction/ Psychology

ISBN: 0-553-84007-x

YEAR PUBLISHED: 1995

This mapping offers a challenge to those who subscribe to a narrow view of intelligence, arguing that IQ is a genetic given that cannot be changed by life experience, and that our destiny in life is largely fixed by these aptitudes. That argument ignores the more challenging question: What can we change that will help our children fare better in life? What factors are at play, for example, when people of high IQ flounder and those of modest IQ do surprisingly well? I would argue that the difference quite often lies in the abilities called here ’emotional intelligence’, which include self-control, zeal and persistence and the ability to motivate oneself. And these skills, as we shall see,can be taught to children, giving them a better chance to use whatever intellectual potential the genetic lottery may have given them.

excerpt .

 

   Emotional Intelligence  by Daniel Goleman is one book that left me speechless. I was literally lost for words to say when I initially planned to review this book. Needless to say I was awed by the content of this great book, little wonder it carries the tag of a bestseller. All I know is that this has got to be my  favourite non-fiction read from the year 2016.

An aspect of psychology, emotional intelligence is something Daniel Goleman believes is overlooked by many in their everyday lives. Instead, society pays more attention to attributes such as having a high IQ and how this in turn aids one in achieving great academic excellence. But Daniel Goleman ( with the aid of other scientists)  through numerous research and findings has discovered that although a high IQ may guarantee academic success, it has little or nothing to offer when one is faced with life’s vicissitudes.

Based on this observation, he creates a call-to-action by letting society have a larger and clearer view of what intelligence holds and helping them realise that it goes beyond classroom learning.  The factors he holds responsible for this kind of intelligence as summed up in the book include: self-discipline, self-awareness as well as empathy. And this scheme of multiple intelligence is the theory he strongly advises should be applied in various places of meetings, starting with our homes before proceeding to areas such as schools and hospitals.

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman was a profound read, as it depicted great wisdom and knowledge on the subject. I for one agree that this is an area of study that should be added to school curriculums across nations, as it would be of great value in helping us through various endeavours in life.

   

 

TOP 5 QUOTES FROM THE BOOK

  •  For better or worse, intelligence can come to nothing when the emotions hold sway
  • Praying if you’re religious works for all moods, especially depression.
  • It is the combination of reasonable talent and the ability to keep going in the face of defeat that leads to success
  • Empathy builds on self-awareness, the more open we are to our own emotions, the more skilled we will be in reading feelings.
  • The failure to register another’s feelings is a major deficit in emotional intelligence, and a tragic failing in what it means to be human.

 

 

Please do get a copy of this book, not just for yourself but for a family member or friend, you’ll be glad you did.

And if you’ve read the book or have anything you’d love to say in general, feel free to do so in the comment section below. Your contributions are always welcome.

 

Do have a lovely week ahead, and remember to stay out of trouble.

xoxo

 

WORD OF THE DAY

Histrionic

adjective

overly dramatic

Synonyms

melodramatic, overplayed, theatrical,       thespian, temper tantrum, tirade

noun

Histrionics

very loud and emotional behavior that is intended to get sympathy and attention- used to show disapproval.

WORD OF THE DAY.

   Thicket

1. noun

    plant

    Synonyms

    Brush, bush, hedge, shrubbery, wood,       growth, clump, covert, grove,                       vegetation, flora.

2. noun

     dense growth of small trees or bushes

     Example

     ” For them, I hid in the  thickets of the           lemon grass, in crouched positions.”

TEAR DROPS.

Listen child!

It’s okay to feel this way

Wanting to purge yourself of the misery

Yes, don’t allow it settle in,

Give yourself a detox

Allow yourself some cleansing

Get rid of the pain

Cry! Yes my dear, cry a little more

And don’t feel ashamed about this

For even the clouds shed tears

When things don’t seem so bright

LONELY DAYS

AUTHOR: Bayo Adebowale

MONTH READ: November 2016

RATING: 5/5

GENRE: Fiction

PAGE COUNT: 141

ISBN: 978-978-029-746-6

YEAR PUBLISHED: 2006

 

  ” And so, most of the village men in Kufi resented Yaremi for her ‘self-conceit’ and loathed her for what always came out of her mouth, by way of resistance of them. Times without number, Yaremi had told the men what they hated to hear- the plain truth- that she was neither a napkin nor a rag to clean up mess with. She was not a music calabash for the clumsy fingers of drummers. The strands of her hair were not for the grubby claws of ruffians. No. She was a neat woman, vibrant as the lily, floating on the clear water of the village lake; a pretty woman carrying the blackness of her skin like a shinning royal gown over her smooth body. What impudence! To the men, this was one woman who should be kept at arm’s length and be dealt with decisively. But there were a few of them in the village who still found Yaremi irresistible and who, at every available opportunity, still wanted to move closer to her.”

excerpt(page 90).

 

A short but awesome read, Lonely Days by Bayo Adebowale is a story that expresses views on how much culture, traditions and beliefs affect people and the choices they make, even at their detriment. It tells the story of a middled-aged woman named Yaremi, who through unforeseen circumstances became a widow  by loss of her husband, Ajumobi.

Until now, Yaremi never really knew what the pangs of widowhood felt like, especially in a rural suburb such as the village where she lived (Kufi). Kufi as portrayed in the story is a village settlement where the people still believed that gods had supremacy over all happenings, a place where people still lived in mud houses having thatched roofs, with most of them engaging in manual jobs such as hunting and farming for the men, while the women were involved in petty trading. Yaremi was one of such women as she sometimes sold taffeta which she made using the help of her grandson Woye.

One major problem Kufi had as a village was that, most deaths weren’t tagged as natural, worst still if it happened to be the husband of a woman. In cases like this, the women( now widows) were subjected to various forms of humiliation and torture. These included things like confessing to gods for the death of their deceased husband, taking libation, having heads completely shaved, remaining in isolation for long periods of time and worse of all, being forced to remarry (most especially a kinsman) against their wishes. This was the plight Yaremi and her peers had, but unlike her peers, Yaremi was able to stand for herself by refusing to give into customs which she felt were obsolete. Although she had moments when she would allow herself  wallow in self-pity and wonder, she remained diligent and determined in all that she did and this earned her a place among the menfolk of Kufi as well as one or two admirers.

But the reason Yaremi stands as the heroine of this book lies in the fact that she was a woman who knew her worth and wouldn’t allow the sentiments of others stop her from making the right decision for herself. This remarkable act was exhibited when the day came for her to pick a new suitor as tradition demanded, but Yaremi blatantly refused all offers not minding the disgrace it would bring to the community. The story ends with Yaremi having to leave Kufi village for fear of being ostracized, but most importantly to regain her peace.

 

Bayo Adebowale through this nicely crafted story has been able to lend a voice to women at large by using the ever pretty and bold Yaremi as a tool.I loved his use and style of words and also the manner in which he portrayed the richness of the African culture.

This is a must read for women and men , both young and old and for those who have voices but are afraid to speak for fear of society. Yaremi indeed has been of exemplary character to us all.

 

Have you read this book or have anything to you’d love to say, then please feel free to drop comments in the box provided below. Thank you

A BOOK I NEVER FINISHED READING

F: Hey Ellie, have you read “Kidnapped” by Robert Louis Stevenson?

E: Well, I started it one time, but got bored and as a result was never able to finish it.

 

We’ve all been there at some point…that awkward moment when you started a book hoping to see its end ,but contrary to that, you only managed to get through its first ten pages before  finally giving up. Today’s post is focused on this issue.

The book you see in the picture below is an example of such books I couldn’t really bring myself to read completely. It was given to me as a present for my eight year birthday, so you can imagine how long it has been standing on the shelf, wishing for another chance,anxiously waiting for it to be picked up once again, and this time hoping that its pages are completely devoured. And now you probably begin to wonder, “Thought you loved books, why should you say you weren’t able to read some?”

Author: Mark Twain

Genre: Adventure/Fiction

Page count: 431

Well, here are some of the reasons why I was never able to finish that book:

-The language in which it was written. It had this old American English feel to it and  because of this, I wasn’t able to relate.

-The size of the book. You see,when it comes to reading, just as with every other aspect in life, people have different styles. While some would rather sit up on a chair to read, using a table as support, others prefer to lay down on a bed or floor. For me, whichever way I read, I find myself holding the book. Considering this, you would guess that another reason why I must have dropped the book was because of its size.( Please see picture below). My hands would ache badly after about an hour or two of holding up the book to read while simultaneously flipping through the pages.

-Distractions. When you have to interrupt your reading to attend to other things such as school work and house chores, if you aren’t determined enough, trust me, you’ll end up not being able to continue with whatever it was you had picked up to read. Except of course, the author has found an intriguing way to keep the reader hooked with his/ her story. I guess this was another problem I had as at then. Remember I said I received this book as a present when I turned eight. And by now we all know adding another year not only comes with presents  but with more responsibilities as well. It was at this time I was being made to study for extra long hours in preparation for the popular common entrance examinations that will serve as entry into various secondary schools across the country.And for those schooling me, “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” was definitely a major source of distraction at the time.

 

Looking back now, I think I would have fared better with an abridged version of the book and  by now, would have known what eventually became of Finn. The point is, everyone, including the proclaimed book lovers have had some point in their reader lives not concluded a piece of written material. Although, some have made it an habit, when it happens this way sometimes, one shouldn’t feel guilty.

Books have been likened to people so many times; some having really catchy covers, bearing beautiful names, others looking like they would be of  great help to us and these traits in turn successfully draw our attention to them.So out of curiosity of wanting to see what they hide, we happily pick them up.But once we start exploring their insides, we begin to see that not all of them are as captivating as they posed to be and majority eventually proved useless. What happens next, we get bogged down and we drop them. Now, instead of having a prickly conscience about this or wasting so much time on that one book that doesn’t seem to bear the facts you really wanted, it’s better to move onto the next one that matches your tastes, thereby leaving you wanting more, because, just as you find yourself not getting along with everybody you meet in life, you’ll also see that you won’t find yourself going with the flow of all books you pick to read, and this is totally okay.

 

 

Feel free to drop  comments about books you never finished reading  and why it happened so…

 

xoxo