EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE 2.0

If you’ve been following the blog or my Instagram account(@zell_a), you’d have noticed that I kind of have a slight obsession with the aforementioned topic. I don’t know if it has to do with want for personal improvement regarding the matter, or just a genuine and overall general interest in it. Whichever way it might seem, I can’t deny the tremendous benefits the knowledge of this subject matter has blessed me with.

The other day, while flipping through my notes, I managed to stumble on some excerpts I extracted from Dr. Travis Bradberry & Jean Greaves’ Emotional Intelligence 2.0 , and it was during this moment of re-reading the points I gathered from the book I understood how important this was to individuals and the general public as a whole. Plus, I made quick references as to areas where I had applied the techniques stated in this book and how much difference it had made, positively. With this, you must suspect that these are some of the reasons I decided to share my notes with you. Although, it’d be of greater help to read the entire text, I believe these points would also have a positive impact on whoever reads and tries to apply them to their daily lives.

Below is what I’ll like to call a summary of the text, covering the most important aspects of what the subject ( Emotional Intelligence) entails:

 

EQ SKILLS INCLUDE:

  • Time management
  • Decision making
  • Assertiveness
  • Empathy
  • Change tolerance
  • Stress tolerance
  • Anger management
  • Trust
  • Presentation skills
  • Social skills
  • Customer service
  • Flexibility
  • Communication
  • Accountability

 

PERSONAL COMPETENCE

  • SELF AWARENESS
  1. Have an understanding of what you do well.
  2. What motivates and satisfies you.
  3. Which people and situations push your buttons.

Having self-awareness means you aren’t afraid of your emotional mistake.

 

  • SELF MANAGEMENT
  1. What happens when you do or do not act.
  2. Be aware of verbal outbursts.
  3. Congratulate others on achievements.
  4. Stress levels should be less revealed.
  5. Bluntness should be controlled.
  6. Do not speak negatively about a person, person’s opinion or idea.

 

  • SOCIAL AWARENESS
  1. Pick up emotions in other people and understand what’s going on with them.
  2. Listening and observing (critical elements).

 

  • RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT
  1. Solid relationships are something that should be sought and cherished.
  2. They’re the result of how you understand people, how you treat them and the history you share.

 

 

SELF AWARENESS STRATEGIES

To be self-aware is to know thyself as you really are.

STRATEGIES

  • Quit treating your feelings as good or bad.
  • Observe the ripple effect from your emotions.
  • Lean into your discomfort.
  • Feel your emotions physically.
  • Watch  yourself like a hawk…
  • Keep a journal about your emotions.
  • Don’t be fooled by a bad mood.
  • Don’t be fooled by a good mood either.
  • Stop and ask yourself why do you do the things you do.
  • Visit your values.
  • Check yourself.
  • Spot your emotions in books,movies and music.
  • Seek feedback.
  • Get to know yourself under stress.

 

So these are some of the tips to having a high level of emotional intelligence thereby improving your relationship with yourself as well as others. And remember to expect success,  not perfection. Keep on practicing. Be patient. Always measure your progress.

Please share if you found this useful. Thanks.

 

ONE SIZE DOESN’T FIT ALL.

Source: pinterest

UGLY because growing up, that’s what you’ve been conditioned into thinking. On meeting a person, our major assessment of who or what they might be is usually centered around the physical appearance, with much attention given to the face. And with such analysis, persons usually tend to fall into categories of being either pretty or ugly. Little wonder many of us try all possible means to look ‘exceptionally beautiful’, some going as far as having to endure long hours of painful plastic surgical operations just to alter the natural state of their appearance in order to fit into the commonly accepted ideals of beauty or attractiveness. But as ages passed, and with more self-learning, I’ve come to realize that these are just preconceived notions governing such standards, and in many cases of broaching the subject, I find myself constantly asking questions regarding what beauty and ugliness really is, the idea behind them, how these ideas came about and what exactly the lines are, separating them? What makes it funnier is when a strange person walks into a place and there’s a sudden heated argument  over how attractive he or she is or whether or not they even fall into the bracket. And so many times these arguments wire off to nothing. But why should one allow man’s illusions greatly control the perception of oneself? The sickening thing about these concepts is that what may be considered as a superbly attractive face in one spectrum of society would be thoroughly described as highly disenchanting in another spectrum. The result of this leaves me pondering, ‘ Why all these battles then with self, just to fuel man’s insatiable desires?’ Due to all this, one shouldn’t be astonished on hearing condescending statements such as, ‘Oh, she’s quite pretty for someone with such a large nose’ or ‘ My! What a handsome face, but he’s just too short for a guy’.

These days, I cast glances at people and instead of going with an immediate judgement of their facial appearance, I try to give them complete visual examinations , of course long periods of gawking could make persons feel uneasy…but in giving intermittent stares I’ve been able to reach a point where I find it legitimately baffling how such strong structures bearing great complexities in a way that has been intricately woven to form this wonderful feature of the human body could be easily narrowed down into these shallow boxes.

A face shouldn’t just be passed off as ugly or pretty. No. When next a person is met, although it may not be easy at first, but with careful deliberation one should  endeavour to experience much more than its aesthetics. After many of such scrutinizations, you come to realize that faces tell stories. It reveals a lot about a person, especially aspects of the person he or she might not be willing to share with you or is generally trying to hide. Imagine how much data one could get just by staring into a person’s face; giving you clues as to the race,tribe or ethnicity, the age range, possible past or present injuries, the emotional state, the current health status and so much more that is often ignored. Let’s not forget that this place(face) happens to hold four out of the very essential five senses needed for proper day-to-day functioning in our lives.

For me, there are many things that could easily fall into the UGLY-PRETTY division, but faces for a fact shouldn’t be one of them. As I expressed earlier, I’ve learned (still learning) to view these structures of the human anatomy as STORIES. And with each face comes a new story, a great story. Also, no matter how short or long, wide or narrow, I like to believe that everyone has an interesting side to their story; to their faces.

So friend, when next you find yourself peeping into that piece of glass or peering into another face, instead of laying so much focus on what you assume or may have been taught to believe are the negative or positive aspects that leads to the determination of which area you or them fall into as per the UGLY-PRETTY division, make an attempt to see what this part of the system is saying or trying to say. It doesn’t go without the cliche saying of life being too short to keep on concentrating on the negatives not minding the detrimental effects it could have on one’s health and appearance in general. You have to learn to embrace your individuality, learn to appreciate your story as well as others’. You just got to love yourself.

I AM

Photo source: Pinterest

I like to think that when I die and I’m buried,  my body decomposition occurs,  making me an integral part of the soil. And then,  although those who may have known me think I’m completely  gone,  a part of me remains here as I become one with the earth(soil) from which new living forms such as plants absorb their required nutrients,  so I get to be a part of their existence. Subsequently, various beings not excluding animals feed on these plants as a part of their diet for sustenance of life,  in the process unconsciously incorporating me into their essence. And then,  there are other times where the sky sucks up water from the earth,or I get blown by wind,  and particles of me mixes with the air,  and another part of me is taken into the atmosphere, thereby converting me again into another form of energy,  another form of existence…

In the course of all these,  although it’s evident that I’m no longer physically present, I like to think  I’m certainly still present but in other dimensions and therefore not entirely gone as many would have themselves believe, rather I’m still a great part of this huge entity and all the while I get to contribute immensely to the continuous growth cycle of the universe.
_I LOST MY MIND